Patience is a Virtue

The common theme that I've seen this year is patience... mainly me being patient. I've heard the saying, "patience is a virtue" and since I've noticed it showing up in all areas of my life, I figured it could be a series of blog posts I could write. So, for the next couple of posts, you'll read how being patient shows up and how it pays off in my life. I hope you enjoy it and it makes a difference for you.

The first post will be about relationships. After dating someone for a while I've become really clear that I cannot make him do what I want him to do. This also works with friends and family. When I'm talking about making them do something, it's not like clean the dishes or wash the car - it's more than that. I'm referring to the "ah ha" moments in life where they make their choice to change their life for the better. Like quitting smoking, quiting drinking, seeing how they are judging someone, making someone wrong, or they are in the way of producing results in their life. I find that if I tell them that they are doing something wrong, or their behavior is a problem a couple things happen. Either they get mad, they get defensive, or they are in denial. The end result is the same if not more of the same behavior continues. I've come to the conclusion that I have to be patient and have them get that it's a problem. They have to come to the conclusion themselves that something needs to change in order for the change to take place. So, if you've noticed that there's a problem to point out, listen for when it's time to share your concern, but share it in such a way where you're not expecting an action or an outcome. Just share from your point of view. Sooner or later, they will get it, just trust that they will. After all, your concern for their issue is weighing only on you, not them. So why stress over it?

The Surprise of Death

Earlier this week, two people in my community died in a tragic plane accident. I say from my community because I knew of them but we've never talked. However, their influence to the people around me have been astronomical and because of that, I see this incident as a tragic loss.

Every human being wants to make a difference in the world. And through my life, I've found people who don't realize that's what they want to do, who are in pursuit of that and who are doing it. Chad Wade and Justin Yates were those people who were doing it - one person at a time. I know that the difference they made on this planet is huge and will last a lifetime.

As I said, I didn't know them like I know my close friends, but death has us react in all different ways. I was never taught what to say, what to feel, what to do and how to react when you hear that someone has passed. It was, for the most part, hidden from me when I was growing up. It was something not to concern with the kids. But it wasn't until this past week that I gave myself the freedom to feel and do whatever was there. I was shocked, sad, upset, in denial, torn, and really aware of what I was doing. I was thinking of where my life was going. I now know that there is no perfect way to deal with death, there's no proper thing to say or do. There is just being with what is so and not doing anything else. Getting the reality check of my mortality has me write this to you - my community. I want to have you all do something you've been putting off, share your love with someone even though you know they know or even better - tell someone you've never told them how you felt. Because I promise you, sometimes you'll never know when the time is up. Chad and Justin were off on a business trip, they didn't think that when they left it was going to be the last time they would say good by to their families. So just for today, live it fully so that you can say you have.